Self-Criticism
When the harshest voice is your own
An inner critic can feel like having someone in your mind constantly watching, judging and correcting you.
It might be a quiet background voice that questions everything you do, or something much harsher that tells you you're failing, not doing enough or should know better.
Over time, it can leave you feeling tense, ashamed, inadequate or as though you can never fully relax into being good enough.
You might notice:
focusing on mistakes rather than what went well
replaying conversations or decisions
comparing yourself to others
feeling embarrassed or ashamed when you get something wrong
struggling to feel proud of yourself
putting pressure on yourself to perform or achieve
feeling like you should always be doing more
The inner critic often believes it's protecting you
The inner critic isn't usually harsh simply for the sake of being harsh.
It often believes criticism will keep you safe.
It might point out your mistakes so you don't make them again. Push you harder so you don't fail. Compare you to others so you don't fall behind. Criticise you first so someone else's criticism doesn't catch you off guard.
And sometimes it keeps moving the bar.
You achieve something and it immediately finds the next thing you need to improve.
You could have done better.
You should be further ahead.
It's still not enough.
The critic may believe that if it keeps pushing, eventually you'll become good enough to avoid failure, rejection or disappointment.
The problem is that good enough never arrives.
How I can help
Therapy can help you understand where your inner critic came from, what brings it out and what it believes would happen if it stopped pushing you.
Rather than fighting with the critic, we can begin to understand what sits underneath it.
The goal isn't to stop growing or wanting more for yourself.
It's to learn that growth doesn't require you to tear yourself down.